Super what . . . who's playing . . . oh, whatever!

In advance I will state that this post is a little about Siena, but a lot about my reflection and appreciation for everyone who has directly and indirectly touched our lives . . .

Dre and I slept-in to 10 AM this morning. I had a little guilt for missing church and felt more rested than I have in a long time, which made up for any guilt I had. Waking up to the sun beating down on my face, it felt like a special day to me. I took Daisy, our dog, outside and it was almost 50 degrees outside-just like Spring-only making me feel even better by the moment.

We get up to the hospital and Dre goes up to Siena's room while I stop off at the cafeteria to get some coffee. I get up to the room, chat with the nurse, and then look into the isolette. My breath is stolen as I look over my little girl with no feeding tube in her nose . . . Dre just proudly smiles at me. Her smile felt as warm as the sun that woke me up this morning. We knew that within a few days that the tube would be coming out, but neither of us had expected her tube to come out last night.

The last few weeks have been a blur and I barely know the weekday or day of the month. I feel like I haven't seen my boys for the last 3 weeks and have been missing them greatly. It felt wonderful to spend the second half of the day with them.

It was interesting to come home and read Dre's blog "Super Siena". I had the exact same surreal moment of reflection about our journey through the last 3 weeks as Dre when I optimistically walked into the hospital for Siena's 9 PM feeding. A wave of innumerable thoughts, feelings, and emotions flowed over me:

• I thought about all of the things that went "wrong" and how everything aligned just "right". It made me think of a quote that I read on a plaque at Kirklands yesterday, "Faith is not believing that He can; Faith is knowing He will."
• I thought about everyone who has been here walking this journey with us - our friends and family, our doctors and nurses, friends and acquaintances at our parish, and everyone else who has thought and prayed for us who we have never met.
  
• I remembered all the things I have felt - fear, anger, faith, nausea, doubt, love, pride, exhaustion, jealousy, impatience, compassion, optimism, and many other emotions that I don't have vocabulary to describe.
• It made me think about all the little things that have taken greater importance in contrast to how many little things, like some game called the Super Bowl, are meaningless and have been given too much priority.
• I wondered how I will change and grow from everything I've learned and experienced.
• And then I started to think . . .
  

. . . I found myself in Siena's room looking over her . . . my mind stops and I am not thinking about anything any more. I get her out, I feed the bottle to her, and we prayed together.

It was also interesting that Mama Barb commented this evening calling Siena, "Super Siena" while at the same time Dre was writing her blog titled, "Super Siena. I asked Dre if she had seen Mama Barb's comments before publishing the post and she had not. I guess bright minds really do think alike. ;)

Sleep, Sun, Warmth, Family, and Friends . . . Wow!, what a special day . . . Thank you to all of you who have touched our life . . . Thank you God.